


What did I want, and I thought

by Skylark



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Codependency, Crushes, Drama, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Pre-Slash, Rivalry, triangulation of desire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22501816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark/pseuds/Skylark
Summary: Their eyes keep meeting.It's never accidental, not even at first.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sugawara Koushi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53
Collections: Skylark's Holiday Presents





	What did I want, and I thought

**Author's Note:**

> The primary relationship in this fic is Kuroo &/ Suga, with background Suga &/ Daichi and Daichi &/ Kuroo. All of the relationships in this story are fairly ambiguous.
> 
> This fic revolves around a different take on Suga and Daichi-and-Suga than I normally write, so be forewarned. I think that this is a way that their characters can be interpreted, but I do not think it should be their primary interpretation.
> 
> Todai is a nickname for Tokyo University.

Their eyes keep meeting.

It's never accidental, not even at first—because it starts while a game is going. Sugawara's eyes track all of Nekoma, seeking out weak points in their team's closed circuit. Of course his eyes linger on Kuroo, the team's captain even if he's not the team's heart. Sometimes Kuroo looks back and grins, just to make Sugawara's eyes harden.

Then it happens after practice, when they pass each other in the hallways or while herding their respective teams in the cafeteria. It's the same feeling each time, the jolt of surprise and then recognition—the slight nod or upward tilt of the head to indicate respect—before passing.

\--

But it keeps happening after camp, too. Hinata's facetiming with Kenma instead of cleaning up after practice and Sugawara comes over to make him turn it off, and Kuroo's in the background eating a popsicle. Their eyes meet and this time Sugawara says, "Oh, it's you."

Kuroo blinks, and then smiles. "The one and only," he agrees as he licks his lips. He wonders if his mouth has been dyed blue yet.

"You shouldn't encourage this kind of behavior," Sugawara says.

Kuroo just laughs. " _We're_ on our way home. What _your_ kouhai do isn't my problem."

Sugawara frowns at him and reaches out to turn Hinata's camera off. When the line disconnects, Kuroo feels vaguely disappointed.

\--

Then Kuroo invites Sawamura to come to his graduation and for some reason, Sugawara comes along too. He's startled when he goes up on stage and glances out over the crowd, looking for his parents, and his eyes catch on a head of gray hair instead.

"What are you doing here?" Kuroo says when he finds them in the school courtyard afterward.

Sugawara's eyes widen a little. "I thought we were friends," he says, sounding hurt.

"I don't have room for both of you in our house," Kuroo blurts out, because he's never had Sugawara look at him like _that_ and he doesn't know what to do with it. 

Sugawara turns those eyes on Sawamura and says, "You were going to _stay over?_ "

"I didn't—" Sawamura begins at the same time Kuroo says, "I mean—"

"Don't be silly," Kuroo's mother says, saving him. He really needs to get her something nice for her birthday this year. "Of course we have room for both of your friends. Don't come home too late now, grandma made a big feast to celebrate and you don't want it to get cold."

\--

"Why _are_ you here?" Kuroo says later, when they're lying around in his bedroom watching anime.

"It was for his own safety," Sugawara says. "Daichi has a horrible sense of direction. I don't think he would have gotten out of Tokyo Station alive."

Kuroo glances over at Daichi, who gives an agreeing shrug. "I didn't think you'd mind, though," he says.

" _Do_ you mind?" Sugawara asks, and there's that look again, eyes round with worry, teeth just starting to worry at his lower lip. Kuroo is starting to wonder if he does it on purpose.

"I would've liked some warning," he says, "but I guess I don't really mind. It's like you said. We're friends, right?"

Sugawara watches him for a moment, assessing, before he smiles. "Yeah," he says. "We're friends."

\--

"You had an ulterior motive, didn't you?" Kuroo whispers once Daichi has fallen asleep. The two of them kept each other awake talking, both of them keeping an eye on Daichi to make sure he fell asleep first. 

Sugawara's body language changes as he leans back against Kuroo's wall, the futon beneath his thighs crinkling as he draws one leg up. The look he gives Kuroo holds a thin trace of a smile, like a crescent moon behind clouds. "I didn't like that you invited him," Sugawara says.

Kuroo blinks, feeling his blood heat the way it does before a match. "I was expecting you to beat around the bush a little more," he admits.

Sugawara tilts his head. "Why? You're not easy to fool, and I don't know how much time we have before Daichi wakes up."

Kuroo leans his weight onto his knees, his back curling as he turns to face him. Sugawara's gaze meets his fearlessly.

"So, what?" he asks. "You gonna try to tell me to stay away from your friend?"

Sugawara gives him a humorless smile. "You like him," he says, "but you're not the first person I've had to let down on his behalf. He's straight."

Kuroo's brows furrow. "Does Sawamura know you're doing this?"

Sugawara shrugs. "He suspects, I think. He's not stupid. He just...I mean, it's easier, having me do it for him. Like how it's easier for me if people just think we're together."

"Is it really?" Kuroo asks. "You like cockblocking yourself that much?"

Sugawara licks his upper lip, slow and deliberate, never breaking Kuroo's gaze. Kuroo doesn't try to pretend he's not staring.

"Well," Sugawara whispers, "not always."

Sugawara leans forward like a challenge, and blinks when Kuroo leans back out of range.

"I'm not making out with you in front of your best friend, even if he's asleep," Kuroo says. "Hell, he's my friend too. I don't really know what's up with you, but if the trains hadn't stopped running I'd probably ask you to leave."

Sugawara blinks, and then clears his throat, his cheeks coloring as he leans back.

"I went about this all wrong, didn't I?" he says. "I misread you."

Kuroo's eyes narrow, a little confused. "What exactly do you have going on with Sawamura?"

Sugawara's expression cracks slightly, revealing a flash of vulnerability. His gaze flickers to Sawamura's sleeping face. "He's my best friend," he murmurs. "And he's been talking to you all the time recently."

"Following him to Tokyo is a little much, even for a jealous friend."

Sugawara's gaze snaps back to him, glaring. "I wasn't jealous of _you_ ," he snaps, "I—" and then his mouth slams shut.

Kuroo boggles at him. "What," he says, starting to laugh, "you were jealous of _him?_ For talking to _me?_ "

Sugawara is definitely turning red now. "Like I said," he says stiffly, "I think I went about this all wrong."

Kuroo leans back against the wall beside Sugawara, still stifling his laughter in his fist. Sugawara's back is very straight as he endures this. 

"Coming all the way to Tokyo is a bit much for a crush too, you know," Kuroo says. "That's some shoujo manga level behavior."

Sugawara hunches his shoulders. "Sorry," he mutters. "Daichi really is horrible with directions, though."

"You're such a good friend," Kuroo drawls, and there's real anger in Sugawara's gaze this time.

"He didn't tell you where he's going to college, did he?" Sugawara says. "He's applying to Todai. Where do you think he got that idea from? He's got good grades, he's the captain of this year's dark horse volleyball team, of course he'll get in. They'd be crazy not to take him. He and Asahi are my best friends, and—" he stops again. After a brittle second, he spits out a soft laugh. "You're too easy to talk to," he says. "It's your face."

"You like this face," Kuroo points out.

"Yeah," Sugawara says, shaking his head before dropping it back against the wall with a soft _thunk._ "I do."

"So come to Todai too," Kuroo says. "Karasuno's indomitable setter is no small fry, either."

"What about Asahi?" Sugawara says in a small voice. "He doesn't want to go to college at all."

"He can come to Tokyo too, if he wants," Kuroo says.

"He doesn't."

Kuroo blinks, seeing the full picture at last.

"...So I sympathize, a bit," he says, "but it's still not right for you to come into my house and take all of this stuff out on me."

Sugawara bows his head. "I really am sorry," he says. His voice has lost its earlier tension; now he just sounds thin and worn out. "I didn't really think this through."

"That's unusual, coming from you."

Sugawara winces. "I get...overwhelmed. There's a reason they never let me play on the court for long."

"Don't sell yourself short," Kuroo says. "You did pretty well all by yourself before Kageyama showed up. If you'd only had a real coach, we could have gone head-to-head a lot earlier."

Sugawara laughs. "Thanks," he says. "I would have liked that."

He looks up and their eyes lock. It feels like Kuroo's really _seeing_ him, for the first time.

"So we should probably go to sleep," Kuroo says slowly, "but also, I'm going to give you my number, and you should definitely call me."

Sugawara blows out a slow breath through pursed lips. "Yeah, okay," he says, pulling out his phone and handing it to Kuroo to put his number in. "I'm sorry."

"You said," Kuroo says, handing the phone back. "I'll forgive you if you tell Sawamura that you've been shooting down all his gay crushes for him."

Sugawara blinks at him.

"I'm _your_ friend too," Kuroo repeats. "Make him do it himself. It's not good for you. Him either, but especially not you. How long did it take you to get over him?"

Sugawara raises an eyebrow. "You'll find out how long it takes soon enough, I guess."

\--

Sugawara steps into the college gym and their eyes find each other without any hesitation. Kuroo grins, and Sugawara raises an eyebrow, and when Sawamura comes in behind him, his grin widens.

It's so easy to match Sugawara on the court, so easy to read his tells and microexpressions and place himself exactly where Sugawara doesn't want him to be.

But why wouldn't it be? They've watched each other for years, after all.


End file.
